“A good struggle”

Janae (C/O ‘21) had her side-eye on Ms. Tatiana, wondering, “What’s she trying to do?”

The teenager, who just graduated from Howard High School of Technology, was new to TeenSHARP—but not the college application process. On the contrary, Janae had already applied to more than 20 schools by the time she met with Tatiana, TeenSHARP’s co-founder, for college advising.

Then Ms. Tatiana suggested a bunch of schools Janae hadn’t considered before. Our co-founder knew that few of the schools on Janae’s list would have the abundant resources she deserved. And for Janae, funding mattered a lot.

“I had to keep an open mind, and think positive,” Janae recalls about the experience.  

The 17-year-old was supporting herself completely by then, with no parental guidance, unstable access to housing, and just a small amount of money in government assistance—certainly not enough to cover the cost of college. Two years prior, Janae had lost her father, Ronald Williams, in a tragic hit-and-run accident that turned her life upside-down. “The day I found out,” she signs, “I felt my heart drop. I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t express myself, I couldn’t function. It was so unexpected and painful.” 

The fallout of the trauma led to another major loss, when Janae’s mother abandoned her. Since then the young woman has made her own way—from finding housing and managing money to paying for medical expenses, grocery shopping, finding a therapist, and, above all, staying safe. All while applying to college.

Janae even took three college courses her senior year. In her junior year, Janae maintained a 4.1 GPA as a junior, and was the only deaf student to participate in mock trial. She won the best lawyer award.  

“All these things fell into place”

“I don’t know what life would look like without my support system,” Janae signs. That system includes her therapist, her close friends, a few family members who have continued to reach out and check in on her, her guidance counselors at school, the community at West End Neighborhood House, and TeenSHARP—which she learned about last year from school. 

That’s how Janae came to meet Tatiana and quickly receive her candid feedback on college choices and affordability. Soon after, Janae heard back from a school in Georgia. She was accepted, but she’d have to pay $15,000 a year. Janae’s skeptical side-eye for TeenSHARP gave way—and she began the college application process again, from scratch. This time, she worked from a list of schools that she crafted with Tatiana, researching each one in meticulous detail. She set up meetings with admissions officers, disability services, psychology department faculty members, and current students. Altogether, the research totaled over 100 hours. 

Along the way, one school stood out:  Macalester College. 

There, admissions officers made it clear they cared about Janae, as an individual, as a young woman of color, and as a member of the deaf community. She was impressed to learn of a professor in the psychology department who is fluent in American Sign Language, and that Macalester offers ample opportunities to volunteer or intern in the deaf community. Without being asked, the school provided Janae with interpreters at meetings. 

“All these things fell into place,” Janae signs. “It feels like home already.”

What’s more is that Macalester—which accepted Janae this spring—will provide her with $70,000 a year in financial aid. They’ll even arrange for Janae to have housing when campus is closed so she doesn’t have to fear becoming homeless again.

“A good struggle”

Of the application process and her senior year, Janae explains:  “It’s been a struggle, but a good struggle. I just wish I had found TeenSHARP sooner.” During an extremely tough transition, the nonprofit has kept her best interests at heart—especially Tatiana. 

“Because of what I’ve gone through, it was hard applying to so many schools—but Ms. Tatiana has supported me unconditionally, and helped me with everything, from filling out forms to completing my essays,” Janae signs. “She also challenged me to do bigger and better things. In the real world, no one is going to baby me, and I really appreciate how she’s prepared me for life after high school.”

It wasn’t always easy. Far from it, in fact. Janae describes the panic attacks, breakdowns, bouts of profound loneliness, and suicidal thoughts that she faced in past years. At the same time, she doesn’t belabor the grief or the struggles of her life. In therapy, she’s “building up and healing, trying to work on forgiveness,” and she’s transformed her pain into a calling that’s crystal-clear:  she wants to become a psychologist. 

“I want to help people,” she signs. “Especially in the deaf community or the foster care community. Whoever needs me. I want to mentor young children and show them they can make it through, no matter what. I want to tell them, ‘Don’t give up on your life. It’s worth it.’”

Aside from her goal of becoming a psychologist, Janae explains another reason she’s committed to higher education. 

“… I don’t want to live my life that way—just focusing on the pain.”

“My dad wanted me to go to college,” she signs. “So I was like, ‘OK. I’m gonna make it happen.’ I want to go beyond college, too. I want to go as far as possible with my education. And I want to keep my father’s name alive forever—to inspire people to be the best they can, no matter how hard life has gotten.”

Janae continues: “I realize the pain will always be there, but I don’t want to live my life that way—just focusing on the pain.” 

She makes that choice every day, in big and small ways. Last year she embarked on the adventure of cooking, for instance—something her father loved to do. She appreciates how she’s like her father, as well:  both stubborn, both funny (with a gift for pranking others), and both left-handed. With great pride she wears a beautiful, silver, heart-shaped pendant that carries her father’s ashes. 

“I’m with him every day, and he’s with me every day,” she signs. “It really hurts knowing he won’t walk across the stage for my graduation, walk me down the aisle for my wedding, or meet his grandchildren. Someone took that away from me. But you have to accept reality:  life happens.”

And make no mistake, Janae’s life is happening.